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Episode 2: Regicide
In the second episode of Clusterf*ck the crew of the Julian get into trouble as an attempt to sell the Aga'ran scepter goes horribly, horribly wrong. Summary Combat in Coolio's The episode opens where the last one left off, inside of Coolio's where a Polarian Ursin named Lars shoves Œska to the side, calling him a kid. The situation then escalated further as the bear kept Œska from ordering any alcohol, buying him a bottle of Coca-Cola instead. An all-out bar fight broke out as Œska emptied the cola onto the Ursin, broke the bottle on the counter and stabbed Lars in the gut. This caused Lars to go berserk, lifting the Tuskie bartender from behind the counter and throwing them into one of the Holo-poker tables filled with Pengurans. In the ensuing brawl the crew knocked out many a Penguran, Jadim even performing a rare Penguran strike as he curled a seal into a literal party of Penguran children in party hats who were busy shiving each other, the seal also hitting a slot machine in the corner causing it to malfunction and spew out credits. Faoiltiama brought a quick end to the brawl, using the advantage of the dimly lit bar to disappear into the shadow and brutally murder any patron still standing. As the fight was done, the bright white fluorescent lights went on, revealing the white blood stained walls, Jadim plundering the slot machine, Troviae taking blood samples, Faoiltiama equally covered in the blood of her victims and professor Asmund hiding on top of one of the poker tables lamps. All of this to the tune of Frank Sinatra's cover of Let It Snow coming out of the Juke Box. The Kingpin However, the peaceful scene was quickly interrupted by the appearance of a large Penguran in a white suit waddling out of a glass sliding door previously hidden by the darkness, and heading towards the jukebox flanked by Pengurans bodyguards in fedora's wielding tommy guns. After he stopped the jukebox, the Kingpin turned towards the crew and asked them in a polite yet threatening soft voice why they felt the need to ruin his establishment, on the day of his nephew's birthday party no less. Luckily for them the don was in a generous mood and let the crew go after reassurance the Kingpin's nephew wasn't harmed. Living in Luxuary After this ordeal Asmund suggested the crew looked for comfortable quarters to stay for the night as Nour had already returned to the Julian prior to entering Coolio's in order to oversee the maintenance of the ship. They took the elevator the the upper ring of Tisnart Station, all the way still stalked by Penguran Mafioso keeping an eye on them. The crew eventually made their way to the Astro Vista Hotel, a highly exclusive establishment built in an art deco style with a Great Gatsby like interior. Here they were greeted by a robotic receptionist who made it clear to them that the next possible open reservation slot was in 500 years. Fortunately Faoitiama managed to hack her way into the system as Asmund distracted the receptionist by starting to make a forward payment for the reservation in pennies, giving the wolf lady enough time to insert their names into the list of reservations. The crew received rooms tailored to their species, with the exception of Œska who received a generic amphibioid room. The next day most crewmembers were woken by the Morgenstimmung wake-up service with the exception of Jadim who choose not to make use of the wake-up service. At breakfast the crew was mostly surrounded by Penguran businessmen and Lorani upper class twits gossiping about the High Prince's visit to Tisnart Station to meet up with his supposed lover. Eventually Jadim was woken up by a phone call from Trox who set up a meeting with a potential buyer for the scepter in the Stardust Motel back in the lower ring of the station. Taking the Bait After breakfast, our heroes checked out of the Astro Vista and once again made their way back to the lower ring, arriving some time later at a rundown corner motel, Troviae also noticing a mat black hoverlimo parked across the street standing out next to the other rundown graffiti covered car wrecks in this part of town. Inside the Stardust Motel lobby was completely deserted, walls were decorated by several framed posters of David Bowie personas covered in dust and cobwebs, the hotel speakers playing a soft crackly version of Starman and a lone ceiling fan hanging there completely still. The crew took the stairs up to the room where the meeting was supposed to take place as the elevator seemed a tiny bit unsafe, what with all the sparks flying around is all. Walking down the corridor, they noticed the door of the meeting room being ajar and as they entered they were met by an empty hotel suite, the only signs of life being an open golden suitcase filled with fancy clothing and a collection of eau de cologne, and an ash tray on a table with a still fuming cigarette in it. As they opened the door of the bedroom they were confronted by the dead body of High Prince Novarius, lying on the bed with a stabwound in the gut. This is the moment where distant sirens started to louden in the distance, Troviae scanning the room for any clues of what happened and taking samples where possible, Jadim taking the suitcase and Faoiltiama getting rid of the evidence by rapidly consuming the body of the prince. A meal of a lifetime as the Lorani prince was the tastiest, most delicious food anyone could ever taste in their life. Losing the Lorani As sirens got louder the crew escaped up the fire escape, Troviae reveling in the opportunity to do parkour, Jadim pulling along the prince's suitcase, Asmund flying alongside them and Faoiltiama still licking the prince's blue blood from her fingers. Asmund accidently attracted the attention of the golden armored Lorani troopers by flying into view and the escape scene quickly turned into a rooftop chase, a golden plated gunship filled with imperial guard and a hoverhorse unicorn airspeeder carrying the handsomely moustached Commander Novus floating alongside the crew. The crew quickly lost Faoiltiama as she failed a jump, ruining her nails once again by attempting to stabilize upon the wall, eventually coming to a halt hanging from a window sill. She quickly burst through the window where she found a green teenage emo slime sitting lazily on the sofa watching some very kinky slime on wolf porn action. The attraction was instantaneous and the camera cut away as the two got jiggy with it. Meanwhile on the roof Jadim managed to literally knock the commander of his high horse by throwing a flaming suitcase at his head. Œska layed down suppressive fire on the Lorani guardsmen taking aim from the open side door of the gunship, killing them and providing an opening for Troviae to jump into the flyer and capturing the vehicle as Asmund flew in front of the cockpit, terrifying the two pilots who immediately grabbed their parachutes and ditched their ride. At this point the room downstairs was turned into a Jackson Pollock painting, both the room and Faoiltiama completely covered in one very satisfied green slime. And it was at this moment that the slime's parents opened the door, returning from their trip to the mall. Daddy slime shouting out Jason's name while mommy slime stood their paralyzed in complete shock of seeing her son spread out across the room in ecstacy. Faoiltiama quickly made a run for it by jumping through daddy and mommy slime and eventually reunited with the party in the rooftop, now covered in sentient samples from three different slime. The crew quickly escaped in the Lorani gunship but not before Troviae took some samples of Faoiltiama's new friends. Terrifying Trox The crew ditched the gunship in a junkyard and made their way back to Trox's shop in order to confront the treacherous Papegarian but found the store closed and most of the shelves empty as if the place was raided. This quickly turned out to be something different entirely as they made their way to the back of the shop and saw a trenchcoat wearing Trox struggling to close the overly stuffed trunk of his Spacion Wagon. The crew rapidly went outside, grabbing the Papegarian by the throat and knocking out its second head, resulting in it slumping to the ground and a very much intimidated Trox. They dragged him inside where Trox explained he had been receiving threatening phone calls from an unknown modulated voice blackmailing him with his past as a street criminal and threatening to ruin the new life he had managed to build up with his wife Charleen and their children. The voice demanded Trox to immediately set up a fake deal at the derelict hotel which Trox did with only little protest, but after this Trox decided it was time for him and his family to leave Tisnart Station and build up a life somewhere else. The crew let Trox go but not before attempting to call the number of the blackmailer and extorting Trox from some of his bubblegum. The crew then swiped the room, collecting the hard drive from Trox's computer system and finding an old moving black and white photograph of a younger moustached Trox next to a young humanoid teenage girl, taken at some sort of Terodactyl Race. The back of the photograph read "Me and little rascall - 2005". Their investigation was interrupted by a televised news report showing a speech of Duke Acrisius, the dead king's brother and prince Novarius' regent and uncle, who announced the sad news of the prince's death with a perfect single tear in his eyes, vowing to find and bring to trial those responsible for his nephew's murder. The episode ending with the party exchanging a few sceptical looks and Michael Jackson's "They Don't Care About Us" beginning to play over the credits. Post-Credits Scene The post credit scene of the episode show a three-fingered figure in a black armored suit, a black spear slung over their back, ominously sitting batman style at the top of a building overlooking the spaceport. The final shot of the episode being the reflection of the Julian in the figure's black motor helmet-style visor. Soundtrack This episode featured the following songs: * A Little Less Conversation by Elvis Presley and Junkie XL * Let It Snow by Frank Sinatra * Morgenstimmung by Edvard Grieg * Starman by David Bowie * You're the First, the Last, My Everything by Barry White * The Trooper ''by Iron Maiden * ''They Don't Care About Us by Michael Jackson For more information you can visit the wiki's Soundtrack page here. Category:Browse Category:Episodes Category:Clusterf*ck Episodes